The Wong Blog

Sorry for the delay in posting the latest episode of The Hong & Wong Show.  I’m sure all of you were waiting with baited breath.  (What you were doing with bait on your breath is your own business.  Sicko.  Actually, I think it’s “bated”…)  I had swine flu on the brain and two days of examinations this week, so couldn’t post the pod in the midst of my fevered, intensive preparations (which paid off handsomely as I academically crushed my Japanese arch-nemesis and language-geek classmate, the one who is already fluent in Chinese—it was like Bruce Lee’s Fist of Fury, but without the martial arts).

The Hong and I recorded this podcast on Saturday, April 25, 2009.  Despite running 10 minutes long, we didn’t quite get to everything I wanted to get to.  Namely, Jackie Chan’s comments about the Chinese people needing to be “controlled” (or needing “regulation,” depending upon which translation you believe).

If you read Chan’s translated comments in context, a slightly different picture emerges, along with two conclusions.  First, Jackie Chan may have been an amazing action star at one period of his life, but he’s also a babbling idiot.  Second, he may be right…at least with regard to the limited context to which he was speaking.

So.

Actually, rather than Chinese people, what really needs to be controlled is Jackie Chan’s penchant for endorsing anything and everything.  This is extremely evident here in China.  People have said this before, but if you pay Jackie Chan enough money, he’ll endorse virtually anything:  Chrysler cars; hair restoration and/or removal products; abortion pills; whatever.  Here’s something that Jackie should try endorsing:  marital fidelity and not having kids out of wedlock.  I’m just saying…

Maybe just stick with beating people up with ladders and bicycles.

Another thing that I wanted to touch on is the low level of basketball one can observe here at my school and others.  Basically, it’s like a horrible AND 1 Mixtape, where players don’t break other people’s ankles, but appear to be trying to break their own.  Everybody’s an Iverson, constantly running isolation plays in which they attempt to dribble the ball through their legs in a stationary spot for a good 30 seconds, after which they drive to the basket and take a shot that shouldn’t even be attempted in HORSE.  Quintuple clutches, contortions, hitches, spasms, seizures, it’s all there.  Fortunately—or maybe unfortunately—all this offensive-minded play is abetted by the utter lack of defense.

I guess the basketball court is the only place where folks can express their individuality and/or distinguish themselves?  Uh, have the authorities talked to the NBA about their product’s influence on the Chinese?  It’s laying the groundwork for something bad.  At least according to Jackie Chan…

By the way, since I’m at an engineering/technical school, the level of basketball is further diminished.  MIT isn’t known for its basketball program, and it’s the same here.  Bill Gates isn’t regarded for his hops, and I don’t see Steve Wozniak dunking.

Anyway, in this 40-minute podcast, The Hong and I introduce a very special opening theme at the request of one of our listeners, and cover the following topics:

1. A Preview of Road Trip VIII: Seoul; a discussion of all things Korean
2. Asian-American Movie Review: Ping Pong Playa
3. 5-minutes of Hell (a.k.a. a Mando Convo)
4. The Hong’s Facebook Note

Frankly, only the first two topics, i.e. the first 20 minutes of the podcast, are worth listening to…maybe.

Here ya go…

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Note/Warning/Disclaimer:  The Hong thought this was the best episode so far.  As usual, I totally disagree.  You can decide for yourself…

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In this episode, what was supposed to be a wrap-up of our Hangzhou trip segued into a discussion about The Wong’s Chinese class and the age of consent in China (14—it’s 13 in South Korea).

Then, The Hong and The Wong get all Oprah with each other and talk about their reasons for being in China.  In other words, Crazy Talk.

Somehow, we end with some chit-chat about Chinese geriatrics, the potential market for nursing homes, and the prospects for a massive oral history of the Chinese and the Chinese diaspora in the 20th century.

Oh, and the words “penis” and “testicle” get mentioned, too.  Naturally.

Tech Notes:  still tweaking the setup.  Sorry.

This week, we’re temporarily re-titling the podcast from The Hong & Wong Show: Hello, Harbin! to The Hong & Wong Show:  Yo, Hangzhou!

That’s right:  we took the podcast on the road, to what many Chinese consider “The Most Beautiful City in China” (a.k.a. Sauce City, P.R.C., or The Town That Beggar’s Chicken Built…).

Believe it.

200 klicks south of Shanghai, Hangzhou is leafy, green, and prosperous.  It possesses a certain refinement ultimately lacking in many other major Chinese cities, including Harbin (in my opinion).  Indeed, it makes Harbin look like a cross between post-apocalyptic Caprica and pre-apocalyptic Detroit.

You won’t find tourists tossing live chickens to Siberian tigers here.  Nope, you get folks feeding popcorn to pods of chubby goldfish, swimming lazily around sculpted imperial ponds.  Instead of ice festivals, semi-dilapidated former Russian Orthodox churches, and a Japanese germ warfare base that may or may not still have live munitions buried on its grounds, Hangzhou offers you The West Lake, lush longjing tea fields, and a twinkling neon/xenon-infused nighttime skyline that could have been carved by Swarovski.

The podcast…

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…was recorded on Sunday, April 12, 2009, on top of Longjing Mountain, in the heart of Hangzhou tea country (yet not one boba tea stand in sight…).  Our special guests for this podcast were Lady J and A.C., our traveling companions and friends of The Hong.

Topics this week include:

1. Introductions:  Lady J and A.C.
2. Impressions of Hangzhou & China
3. Battlestar Galactica (again)
   
4. Prostitution (again)

Enjoy.

Here’s Podcast No. 6 of The Hong & Wong Show…

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In this 18-minute episode, we (1) discuss the Qingming Festival, a.k.a. Tomb-Sweeping Day, a national holiday here in China; and (2) attempt to hold a 2-minute conversation completely in Mandarin.

Note that this podcast has been edited.  I chopped out a 12-minute-long discussion we had about the podcast, itself.  It was all very meta and very boring, but still helpful (to us) for re-tooling things for future episodes.

We also recorded a supplemental/bonus 30 minutes of material (the “B-side” as The Hong termed it) that was far more entertaining and raucous than the episode linked above.  But it also almost certainly violates the United Nations Convention Against Racial Discrimination, so it’s not gonna be posted anytime soon.

Heading off to Hangzhou tomorrow.  More podcasting from there.

BTW, I’ve attempted to address a technical issue that commentator HWH brought up (“[podcast] sounds horrible”).  Aside from boosting the bit rate, we’ve tweaked the physical podcasting setup a bit.  Hopefully, things sound better now.  I contemplated buying a microphone for recording purposes, but I think the built-in mic of our recorder (an Edirol R-09) is sufficient, and works well for a multi-person podcast.  Plus, I want to keep the setup really light in case we have to flee a place quickly.  Let me know if it sounds better.

The title of this post says it all.

I held on to this episode of The Hong & Wong Show/Gettin’ Our Reps In because it was so horrible.  I’m putting it up for the sake of being complete.  However, I recommend not listening to it.  This was the second part of Podcast No. 5, and we just ran out of steam (in fact, we probably ran out of steam after the first ten minutes of Part 1).

To compensate for the terrible content, I’ve boosted the bit rate.  So now you can hear The Wong’s uncomfortable laughter and overuse of the word “interesting” more clearly.  Whether it’s a blessing or a curse is up to you (I say curse).  After this debacle, be sure that we will be re-tooling the podcast…

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In this installment, The Hong and The Wong discuss…

1. Continuing Developments in The Wong’s Chinese Class.
2. Prospective Trip to (and podcast from) Seoul, South Korea.  Special Guest…DC???
3. The Wong’s Chinese Teacher.
4. Car Culture, Mass Transportation in Harbin.
5. The finale of Battlestar Galactica.