The Wong Blog

Here, in alphabetical order, are ten “interesting” books I finished in 2011.

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua

An occasionally—very occasionally—humorous child-raising memoir by a Yale Law School professor of Filipino Chinese/Fujian ancestry. She’s not as hardline as the excerpt published in the Wall Street Journal made her out to be. And she’s not as hardline as the Chinese father who published a similar memoir titled “Wolf Dad” (he beat his kids).  It’ll be interesting to see how the second daughter turns out (the first has enrolled at Harvard). But the meaning/significance the author draws from her sister’s fight with cancer seemed a tad forced and incompletely digested/developed. But life’s messy like that, I guess.

China in the 21st Century: What Everyone Needs to Know by Jeffrey N. Wasserstrom

Nice, short, and to the point. Organized by topic, and utilizing a question-and-answer method. Biggest takeaway for me: these days, the Chinese Communist Party ain’t about ideology, it’s about self-preservation at all costs.

Fifty Key Christian Thinkers by Peter McEnhill and George Newlands

Very interesting to see how Christian ideas, creeds, and doctrines developed over the past two millennium and who was responsible for which ones. “Oh, that’s Barth. This is from Augustine. That’s Tillich. This is Calvin.” Made me realize that for the past century and a half or so, the Germans have been bringing it (mostly in a good way, but sometimes bad—lookin’ at you, Feuerbach).

Heat by Bill Buford

Great book about the author’s experience as an amateur cook working his way up in the kitchen of Mario Batali’s Babbo Ristorante. I used to live nearby, but couldn’t really afford to eat there. The second half of the book, about his apprenticeship with a now-famous butcher in Italy, felt extraneous and tacked on.

Liar’s Poker by Michael Lewis

Book about the author’s experience as a bond salesman at Salomen Brothers. Pretty good for learning about how mortgage and junk bonds work, and how they came to be. Also offers a nice snapshot of Wall Street in the 1980s.

Open by Andre Agassi

One of the best autobiographies I’ve ever read. He hated Michael Chang.

Poorly Made in China by Paul Midler

This book, authored by a China-based consultant/middle-man, illustrates just some of the shady ways that Chinese suppliers and factory owners lie, cheat, and steal from Western companies who hire them to manufacture goods. Very interesting, and a good reminder of the importance of a good contract when dealing with the Chinese. They/we are shifty.

The Korean War: A History by Bruce Cumings

For some reason, in the last few years, I’ve become mildly fascinated with the Korean War. This book is by the foremost leftist American historian on Korea. Pretty interesting. For all his criticisms of America’s role in the Korean War, the takeaway point for me was this: Kim Il-Sung started it.

The War for Late Night by Bill Carter

I actually listened to the audio book, a behind-the-scenes chronicle of how Conan O’Brien won, then lost, The Tonight Show. Interesting portraits of all the late-night players including Letterman, Leno, Kimmel, Fallon, and Stewart, and (to a lesser extent) Ferguson and Colbert, as well as all the network brass, producers, managers, agents, and lawyers involved.

To Kill a Mockingbird allegedly by Harper Lee

A classic, so why not read it, right? Very well-written. By Truman Capote.

So I was reading a newspaper article the other day about how North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il was promoting family and friends in preparation for…something.  Succession?  Seccession?  Seduction?  The ultimate collapse of the Kim regime?

Don’t know, but that last possibility seems the most likely outcome to me.  Apparently Kim promoted his twenty-something son, his sister, and a longtime pal-y to various senior military and political posts.

(What?  Kim Il-sung’s giant neck cyst wasn’t available?  Look it up.  That thing was massive, possibly sentient, and likely as smart as Pudge, himself.)

Kim Jong-il also promoted his son, Kim Jong-un (Un- what?  Un-prepared?), to a four-star generalship.  Four stars!  The dude is in his late-twenties.  Even Mao Zedong’s grandson, Mao Xinyu, was only recently elevated to the two-star rank of major general at the advanced age of 40.  A rank he earned, by the way, as a result of his daring exploits as…a military historian!

(He looks like a military historian, too.  The only thing Major General Mao may have led an attack on is pizza; and the only think he’s invaded lately is the buffet line…)

Yes, I’m sure that promotion to four-star general will earn Kim Jong-un(ready) the confidence of the military higher-ups when he takes over for pops.  It’s not like military men value experience and achievement or anything.  I have no doubt that they will fall right in line when Kim Jong-un(steady)’s turn comes, especially because he may have attended a Swiss military boarding school.

A Swiss military boarding school?

From a military perspective, Switzerland may be the last place I’d want someone who will be responsible for national defense trained.  Doesn’t Switzerland have, like, a foreign policy of neutrality?  Don’t the Swiss, like, guard the Pope and Vatican City?  Doesn’t its army’s knives come with, like, a corkscrew?

(Now from a more global perspective, a North Korean twenty-something four-star general steeped in a policy of neutrality, and not Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, would be awesome.  Better neutrality than the country’s current position, which is build nukes, sink ships, act crazy, and then beg the Chinese for money.)

Kim Jong-un(sane) is supposedly a chip off the old block, which should bode well for North Korea and its people…

Kim Jong-il also promoted Kim Kyong-hui, who is his sister, confidante, and the woman closest to him now that his mother and wives are dead.  The best part of the article is its description of her:  “rumored to have a drinking problem and a fiery temper.”

Awesome!

So many ways to go with this…

A “drinking problem and a fiery temper”?  Really?  In a Korean? Does she also have black hair and brown eyes?  Does she like kimchi, too?  Until I know for certain that the opposite is true, I pretty much assume every Korean, whether North, South, East, or West, has a drinking problem and a fiery temper…

Or does the article mean that Lady Kim’s alcoholism and anger issues are even more notable than the average Korean’s?  If that’s the case, then lookout, that’s gonna rock for North Korea and its people, right?

Yikes…

Recently, Kim Jong-il went off to China to introduce Kim Jong-un(likely) to them, and maybe to get their okay.  Apparently, North Korea’s continued existence and stability is of paramount importance to the Chinese since the Hermit Kingdom acts as a buffer to South Korea and American influence.

But if that’s the case, then the Chinese should have encouraged Kim to re-examine his plan of succession:  his twenty-nine year old four-star schlub of a son and his angry alcoholic sister?  That’s the plan of succession??  For a country perpetually on the brink of chaos and armed with nukes whose intermediate- and long-range delivery systems have a history of failing?  That’s the best option available?  Really?

There is no question in my mind that North Korea, as an entity, a theory, a reality, is going to end very badly, and I hope I’m not in its blast radius when it does.

Apparently axes are a perfectly acceptable wedding gift here in China.

The other day, I was in a shopping center that had a number of shops devoted to wedding stuff: invitations, wedding favors, balloons, candy boxes…axes.  (Axes???)  Yes, there were a conspicuous number of axes, in all shapes, sizes, and materials, hanging around for sale, so I asked Miss Chang what that was all about.

“Oh, in Chinese, the word for ‘axe’ (斧子, fǔ zi) kind of sounds like the word for ‘blessing/happiness’ (幸福, xìng fú), at least in part,” she explained.  “So people sometimes give axes as wedding gifts to wish the couple happiness.”

Indeed…

There were some cute mini wooden axes with the red good-luck tassels hanging on the walls, but there were also some fearsome-looking hatchets, too.  Frankly, the place looked like a cross between a Hallmark store and a weapons depot for a dwarf army.  You can stock up for a wedding AND prepare for an assault on Mordor!

Make that a gay dwarf army—DO ask, DO tell!—because there were some axes that were quite bedazzled.  Like with gold accents, elaborate flowery metalwork…rhinestones.  I’m talking about the kind of decorative armor they sell on home shopping networks, except if they were designed by Liberace.

The best were the axes that came in a set or a pair.  The unspoken message seemingly being that if you and your beloved quarrel, you can settle it once and for all by going medieval on one another the way Gimli The Gay would with his domestic partner, Durin Stiffbeard.

From now on, that’s going to be my go-to wedding gift:  axes.

Legolas!!

So I married Miss Chang.

Officially, she is now…Mrs. The Wong?  The Wong’s Wife?  Still Miss Chang? (In China, wives do not assume their husband’s surname upon marriage.)

Anyway, the China-side wedding banquet is to be held in Harbin on 10/10/10.  If you, Dear Reader, and I are on sufficiently intimate terms, you are more than welcomed to swing by.  Drop me an email, and I’ll provide you with the details.

There’s actually going to be a short ceremony as part of the wedding banquet, but it’s purely, er, ceremonial.  If it’s any incentive for you to attend, instead of a kiss, Miss Chang and I have choreographed the most complicated handshake/high-five/home-run celebration/sequence this side of a Major League Baseball team.  Nothing like it has ever been performed at a Chinese wedding banquet.  It will alternately (if not simultaneously) thrill, shock, awe, and enrage attendees.  Frankly, this is the stuff that sparks revolutions.  Not to be missed.

But if you can’t hoof it over to Harbin, no worries.  Wait for the invite to the Stateside wedding banquet.  Details TBD.  (Vegas?  Vancouver?  Disneyland?)